MizKittay

Mutant Kitties

2005-10-11T15:21:00.000-07:00

Inventors

2005-10-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women.

Anger Management

2005-09-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

I told you no more dry food!

Security Solution

2005-09-13T19:03:00.000-07:00

You read about all these terrorists - most of them enter the country legally, but they hang around on expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now compare that to A video rental store; if you are two days late with a video, those people are all over you. We should put the video people in charge of Immigration and Homeland Security.

Ha

2005-09-02T13:13:00.000-07:00

When I get a cold sore, I put Carmex on it, because Carmex is supposed to alleviate cold sores. I don't know if it does help, but it will make them more shiny and noticeable. It's like cold-sore-highlighter. -Mitch Hedberg

Pile it On

2005-08-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

From a funny site with cats called Stuff On My Cat.com. People just pile stuff on their cats and take a picture and send it in.

Cat with Beer

2005-08-23T04:28:00.000-07:00

Good Kittey!

It's Friday

2005-08-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

I think I'll go party

One of Those Days

2005-08-16T15:14:00.000-07:00

funny guy

2005-08-15T02:42:00.000-07:00

Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.

True Nuff

2005-08-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved (and never will achieve) its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, HE WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV in a bad suit, with a bad hairstyle.

Get the Rogaine

2005-08-05T09:52:00.000-07:00

Hard tobelieve this is a cat. Looks more like a demon.

Semi True Story

2005-08-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they merely change the standard to darkness and then they upgrade the customers.

Catz from da Hood

2005-07-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

Psychic Pitcher

2005-07-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They'll put a man on the moon before I hit a home run." On July 20, 1969, a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Gaylord Perry hit his first (and only) home run.

The Cat That Walked By Himself

2005-07-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

He will kill mice,
and he will be kind to babies when he is in the house,
just as long as they do not pull his tail too hard.
But when he has done that, and between times,
and when the moon gets up and night comes,
he is the Cat that walks by himself,
and all places are alike to him.
Then he goes out to the Wet Wild Woods
or up the Wet Wild Trees or on the Wet Wild Roofs,
waving his wild tail and walking by his wild lone.
- Rudyard Kipling -

That Wacky Dubya

2005-07-20T13:16:00.000-07:00

"Actually, I — this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about — when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."
— George W. Bush, May 2000 -

Fish Story

2005-07-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, but they do want to make it late for something. "Where were you?" "I got caught!" "I don't believe you, let me see the inside of your lip."

Zappa-ese

2005-07-13T14:42:00.000-07:00

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff

Thot For the Day

2005-07-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
- Herm Albright, 1876-1944 -

Interlude

2005-07-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

Tall Ships Festival

2005-06-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

The Tall Ships Festival is making it's way to Victoria today. Thirty or so of these beautifully graceful boats will sail into the inner harbour to lay anchor for four days. I have always loved the romance and beauty of these ships. To me they reflect a simpler world free of pollution and nuclear waste. They speak to me of marauding pirates and cutlasses and gold coins arriving in brigs and two or three masted schooners with the skull and crossbones flying proudly. And Yo-Ho-Ho and a bottle of rum. And walking the plank. I totally realize that real pirates were disgustingly dirty lecherous traitorous sons of bitches, but in my imagination, if I lived back then, I would have been a lady pirate. Seriously. Here's a picture of The Lady Washington ...

which actually doubled as The Intercepter in the movie The Pirates of the Caribbean. She was launched in 1989 as a Washington State Centennial project. She is a replica of the original Lady Washington, a privateer during the American Revolution. She provides shipboard education programs for schools in 89 ports communities in Washington, Oregon, California, British Columbia and Alaska.

The Pallada

will also be there. Built in Gdansk, Poland in the 1980s and named for the Greek goddess Pallas Athena, Pallada offers sail training around the globe from its homeport in Vladivostok, Russia. Its compliment includes 143 marine cadets and up to 56 professional crew, including teachers and officers.

Our office was going to go for lunch today in the inner harbour somewhere and watch these beauties begin to arrive. But sadly, my boss and I are way too busy putting together a huge proposal, so we're postponing the whole deal. ~sigh~ So instead of eating something delicious and enjoying the scenery, I'll be slaving away at work. Ahh well. That (as any good Italian could tell you) is the way the cookie? She crumbles. Ha ha.

Bad Vibes

2005-06-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day full of bad news and bad dreams ... just after lunch a red sports car the police think was involved in a street race missed its turn, went up on the sidewalk and mowed down five people, killing one and injuring the others.

The car was driven by a high school student who had two other dudes in the car with him. I could never live with myself if I was responsible for such a stupid and senseless tragedy.

Then I talked with mom & dad last night who were in the middle of a tornadoe and severe weather watch ... while I talked to mom dad kept calling updates from his lookout spot at the window. He saw at least two funnel clouds not far to the northeast of them.

And last night hubs left at 2:30am for work, and from the moment he left I had horrible horrible dreams. There was "someone" in our place, I kept hearing them walk into our bedroom. I would force myself awake to face the danger, see that I was dreaming, fall back asleep, and promptly pick up the dream right where I left off. I don't know if I really woke up every time or if I only dreamt that I did, maybe it was a mixture of both. But the hell of it was, I couldn't tell myself. At one point (in my dream when I thought I was awake), I got up to search the place and set my mind at ease. Only none of the lights would work. And then I couldn't find our kitty cats, so I searched everywhere and finally found them crouched and shaking in the oven. And as I was comforting them and trying to get them out, the intruder silently walked up beside me and just stood there. Breathing. Then I woke myself up, fell back asleep, and this horror show continued. Also, I set my alarm for 6PM so I didn't wake up when I wanted to and quit that stupid dream for good. As it was, I finally woke up on my own at about quarter to seven ... thankfully.

Needless to say, I feel like I didn't sleep at all and have a headache the size of a PLAnet, as a boss of mine used to say. I sure hope my day improves and that all this weird weather finally comes to an end in southern Alberta.

The Rio Vista Golf Course in High River. Hubs and I drove past that very spot on our way home in May.

Shouldice Park on June 18 ... I've played baseball here many times.

I know, I know ... I'm quite the cheery one today. Eh? I'm off to visit some of you before I hit the shower. Hopefully I'll read something to get me out of this funk.

Finally Facing Forward

2005-06-19T12:45:00.000-07:00

First of all let me say that I'm so glad to see all of you again. And let me also say that I know you're all waiting to hear about our May Vacation ... but owing to the fact that we are the "World's Greatest Procrastinators" and have STILL not gotten our pictures developed, that posts about that are going to have to wait. I promise, they are coming. I just don't know when. Today's post does relate to that though, so let me begin.

As may or may not be abundantly clear to you, I have spent a good part of my life looking back to happy times in our cozy house in Calgary. Because those days were when my family and I were the happiest, I was always looking backward with fondness and yearning. To my home town that I loved so dearly, to closeness and joy in our home ... but more importantly, because it seemed like my entire identity was wrapped up in a package there. And when we moved away to a narrow-minded, short-sighted little town full of bigots and mean-spirited gossips, I felt that the whole of me that was defined by that other time and place had been kicked forlornly to the curb.

It would be pretty safe to say that until our holiday I was still stubbornly clinging to that identity and that sense of belonging and "rightness" ... not even realizing that what I was really doing was searching for the place where I could finally belong again.

But from the moment we drove into the city limits, to the day we spent exploring the old neighbourhood, everything felt so changed. So different. So wrong. And it hit me like a sledgehammer between the eyes, that without even fully realizing it, I have found the place where I belong. With my husband in this beautiful little city that I love so. And it feels really awesome to say that I'm ...

Finally Facing Forward. ~smile~

House-Warming!

2005-06-17T12:43:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, but it's good to be back! And because I'm (once a-freakin'-gain) running behind, this post will be much shorter than I intended and not about what I wanted to talk about. But I guess that's okay. Eh?

Anyway, here's what's on my mind.

What's widely thought of as "American Royalty" is really starting to get on my last nerve. You know who I mean. Singers and actors who have more money than God. I think they're starting to believe their own press. Garth Brooks for example. When he was still releasing albums and touring I really liked him. I liked his attitude, I loved his music, and I really digged his concerts. And then I bought the latest issue of People because there was a piece on the cover about him and Trisha Yearwood getting engaged. I thought to myself, finally! So I bought the rag and read the story first thing. And from start to finish I couldn't help but think, Oh, please! First of all, someone decided that he deserved to have an 8 foot tall, 1,000 pound bronze statue of himself. This has been in the works for some time, but Garth held up the year-long making of the thing, because he wanted the wedding ring he bought for himself for when he marries Trisha to be added to his finger. How precious is that? And then, at the unveiling of said statue, he goes down on one knee before his adoring fans and proposes to her. How freakin' embarassing would that be if she'd turned him down cold? Now that friends and neighbours, would be a news story. Ha ha. Anyway, she said yes amid blushings and stumblings and everyone positively glowed. The topper of this whole thing, is that she and Garth have been living together for over a year at Brooks' 100-acre ranch outside Tulsa ... and on this land Garth has built a house for his former wife Sandy. Oooooh ... how cozy is that then, eh?

And then there's all this to-do about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (gag) and Brittany Spears and her creepy hubby and their pregnancy and her pictures and their raggy t.v. show. Well, the bunch of them are just too much.

Maybe someone needs to tell them that they're not as special as they think they are.

MizKittay out.